“Looking from the outside in”
“The same way that you are the main character of your story, you are only a secondary character in everybody else's story.”
Quote by Don Miguel Ruiz
Many of us spend a large amount of time thinking about how we are perceived by others. It is the source of much insecurity and self doubt. Let’s remind ourselves that we need not worry so much, we can rest assured that others are too wrapped up in their own concerns about what the world thinks of them to have time to take notice of our (perceived) shortcomings . The cycle of worrying about what others may think, doesn’t give us enough mental space to look outside of ourselves. We can’t nurture an environment of authenticity and belonging behaving in this way. With the knowledge of ‘no one is looking’ we can aim to alleviate ourselves of some of that self-importance. Let’s try to let go, don’t hold on so tight. We are so used to wear that mask that we’re unaware of how exhausting it is to keep it in place at all times. Once shared, our imperfections will make us feel more connected to each other. In essence aren’t we all just looking for validation, to be told that we are enough? What does our heart want? Is it competitive, does it need to win? What are we trying to achieve when we are striving for success, money or beauty? Aren’t we all longing for that feeling of fulfilment, happiness, contentment…the feeling of ‘enough’? The trouble is that listening to our minds will lead us down the rabbit hole. It believes that we need to achieve, own or accomplish something in order to deserve happiness. But when is enough ‘enough’? Right, you guessed it: Never. There’s always something or someone better just around the corner, we’ll never be at peace.
Since our innermost wish is to be happy, why not focus a little more on the secondary players in our stories? As an alternative to pitching ourselves against each other in hamster wheel races, we could just slow down and take a little rest. We could ask our next door hamster how he’s feeling, he might tell you that he too, is tired of the merry-go-round. When we open our hearts, our neighbors may feel relieved to do the same. Sharing unites, comparing isolates. Love and acceptance for who we are is not something we have to strive for. It’s already within us, but we have to learn to understand how to love and accept ourselves first. It’s only done by the realization that we are ‘enough’ right in this moment. Once we’re ok with the perfectly imperfect beings that we are, we can start inviting more lead characters into our lives.
